2-18-2014
Journal entry:
I was talking with my sponsor yesterday and this is basically what I told him. I have to surrender and understand that I am powerless and not in control of my life. Someone else is. It is more like playing a character in a game and someone else is dressing me, telling me what to do "not in so many words" conditioning me, training me, and conspiring against me to create as much pain and suffering as possible while leaving very little evidence. Basically Wb has control over every aspect of my life. Socially, family, career, publicity, self-esteem or mood, and financially. I keep trying to take back control over my life, but if it doesn't fit into Wb's long term plans for me and my life than I am either blocked or disciplined. I use to be able to work and hold a job. Only the ones that they approved of so that disconfirming information against them wouldn't make it to the public by them finding out where I worked, the name of the company, and what that might mean if documented. I haven't worked for several years now, after I got hurt at the last company I worked for. Saying that my boss was in trouble with the law and it didn't have anything to do with me is an example of the control she has deciding the memories I look back on and would tell anyone I might talk to about former jobs. The name of the Company was "American Fire Protection." Every time I apply for a job now Wb disciplines me and they hurt me until I stop looking for work. The same goes for housing. Every month I do three things. I put an ad on craigslist asking for a room to rent within my budget. Then I put an ad up for a job or might fill out a couple of applications. Next I try to attend AA or NA meetings so that I can have help staying sober. Also I go to the hospital and file police reports with the proper policiing agency. Normally the United Nations. They concentrate on exactly what I am dealing with and why I am suffering so much in life. I am told I am not allowed at AA or NA meetings because it embarrasses her. Same with NA meetings. If I do attend then they use the people in the meeting to talk about themselves the whole time and use coercive mind control tactics to control me and the person's in the meeting. Saying it without saying it she just makes it annoying or whatever she can to not let me go to the meetings. The only thing I have really ever asked for was a safe family car when I had to take care of a mother and child, the other is a clean meeting without Wb trying to block me. Usually by making my face red and my hands sweating at the meetings. When I try to call a sponsor I talk to her. She is the major factor in my relapsing and drinking so much so really it doesn't make sense to complain to the person who is purposely doing the abuse to me. Another thing I have asked for is medication. It is really important to me because I suffer from PTSD. Wb is purposely trying to induce PTSD because she says she needs me to suffer from it so she can investigate. Whatever that means. So again trying to take care of my health by focusing on the things I need is pointless because she is purposley trying to block me and take those things away from me. I finally got a place to live after 4 or 5 years because it was below freezing outside. I guess that the only time she will let me have housing. Those are a few things I have asked for. If I try to do any of those things then she runs me against a brick wall. Wb tells me constantly to stop talking to people and to not go on the internet or collect any evidence of the psychological and physical abuse that she put's me through. To create suffering Wb turns up the psychological force and violence against me using the t.v., radio, computer, and those persons around me. Coercive mind control tactis and psychological harassment are the tactics she uses to do this. Also psychological manipulation is used to disorient me so that she stays in the dark, not teling me who or what is doing this to me and those around me. I have to surrender to the plan she has for my life. This is basically it. She slanders and discredits me every chance she can with as many persons as possible. Alot of people know exactly who I am and don't believe a word she says. I am a hostage and a slave. Everything that Wb does to me and those around me is illegal. It violates international law. Around 1945 the United Nations was built and hundreds of country's signed treaties such as The Universal Declaration of Basic Human Rights, the Convention against Torture or other Cruel Inhuman Degrading Themes, and The Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. So every single one of those International Laws cannot be violated during war or at the threat of war. Everything that she does in her business is illegal and violates International Law. She has decided to conspire against me, slander me and slowly kill me because I exposed her illegal operation. Her business is corrupt. She documents everything that she makes me do then gives the notes to as many persons as she can. They don't know that Wb is responsible for everything, the good and mostly the bad in my life. Most people think that I am drinking or or suffering for no reason. No she is the reason and it is not majic, but she expects most people not to know how she operates or how she manipulates and coerces her victims to do the things she wants. Most important is that it is all illegal. Wb also has implanted me with a non-verbal communication device that reads my thoughs and broadcasts them to her location. Then she can answer to what I am thinking, giving her almost total control over my moods and total control over my artificial environment. That is also highly illegal and violates International Law. I have been told it is an experiment but I don't know. I also don't know how I got into all this or why I need Wb protection. The records she collects from me go to international criminal court. Wb uses enhanced interrogation techniques violating the convention against torture, to find out what I know about different events. If someone else commits a crime she will either torture me or harass me and slander me in public. Telling people I am a murderer and a terrorist. Another important thing that she has focused on is heavy psychological construction to create a fake psychological profile of me. She has used Ivan Pavlov's theory of Psycholigical harassment in order to do this and also coercive mind control tactics or military mind control. This is also very illegal and Violates my most basic Human Rights. Wb broke me down psychologically then used a technique called "filling a person up" which means using psychological force and violence to construct certain parts of my personality. Such as addiction, self-esteem, self-image, depression, anxiety, PTSD and other personality trains that she can change in me. This is all planned out ahead of time and I am not suppose to notice the small changes in myself so that my ego defenses don't try and fight the changes in myself. The only thing that Wb can't change over a long period of time is my Identification. That is the personality traits that I was born with and no matter the amount of torture she cannot change even though she try's. Wb does all this illegal activity in order to slander me and cover it up in the media so that she doesn't get "found out." Wb is focused on coercing the person's who she wants to look at me, my life story in a certain way inwhich she has total control over by creating emotions in the people she contact. Here's an example. If I have certain political views than she will contact people in politics that have different political views of me and tell them. It creates what's called a "pack mentality." If I like beer than she will keep me sloppy drunk by torturing me if I don't drink, than she will contact people who don't like alcholics and tell them I am drinking. This goes with everything that Wb does every day. It is more than slander and discredit it is a conspiracy to committ murder against a United States Citizen. She makes sure that she files the reports than goes public with them. Since people trust her they don't even doubt that what she is telling them is true. It's almost like mass mind control considering how many people that she contacts in order to slander me and cover up her illegal business. I have tried to contact the United Nations and file police reports. Wb won't let me contact them or send them any evidence of Human Rights Violations. I have also tried to contact Lawyers in several cases and sue her for Gross Human Rights violations and public torture. Wb has blocked me so that she doesn't get held responsible for violating international law, or have to pay for the mental torture or physical torture she has put me through. That in itself is also a violation of international law. Because she runs her business this way and makes money doing it it violates the United Nations Declaration against Corruption. If you can torture someone and make money doing it, it is illegal.
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